This article is adapted from a message delivered by Pastor Aaron Filippone on November 10, 2024, as part of the series “Battle Tested.” The message, titled “Fighting for Integrity,” explores how integrity shapes our testimony and the practical steps we can take to safeguard it. You can watch the full message here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU_Fyh9-jOM. These commandments are primarily intended for married people.
Integrity is foundational for the ministry at Indian Rocks. Trust is fragile—it takes years to build and can be lost in a single moment. To protect the testimony of our staff and the church, we’ve implemented the Staff 10 Commandments. These guardrails ensure that every team member lives above reproach, reflecting the kind of integrity God calls us to. Breaking even one of these commandments is a terminable offense, emphasizing their importance. Here are the commandments with context on why they matter and how they guide our actions:
1. Thou shalt not visit the opposite sex alone at home.
Affairs don’t happen in public; they start in private, often in settings like this. Every affair I’ve encountered began when two people were alone. This commandment prevents those opportunities before they arise, protecting everyone involved.
2. Thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex alone at the office.
Our offices have windows on the doors for a reason, and meetings only happen during office hours. These precautions eliminate the possibility of compromising situations and ensure everything remains transparent and above board.
3. Thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex more than once without the person’s mate.
Emotional affairs can quickly lead to physical ones. That’s why we involve the individual’s spouse early on. It keeps the counseling relationship clear and focused on restoration while safeguarding all parties involved.
4. Thou shalt not go to lunch alone with the opposite sex.
Meals accelerate relationships. Whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or coffee, sharing a meal with someone one-on-one fosters intimacy. If a meeting over food is necessary, bring a third person to ensure accountability and to avoid misunderstandings.
5. Thou shalt not show affection that could be questioned.
We live in a world where everything is recorded and scrutinized. Even innocent gestures can be misconstrued. That’s why I always opt for the Christian side hug—a quick, one-armed embrace that’s warm but unambiguous. It’s about protecting our testimony and avoiding any appearance of impropriety.
6. Thou shalt not discuss detailed sexual problems with the opposite sex in counseling.
If a conversation begins to veer into deeply personal or sensitive territory, it’s crucial to bring another person into the room—preferably someone of the same sex as the individual seeking counsel. Often, this is the moment to refer them to a licensed counselor, as our staff are pastors, not professional therapists.
7. Thou shalt not discuss your marriage problems with an attendee/member of the opposite sex.
Venting frustrations about your spouse to a member of the opposite sex, even jokingly, creates vulnerabilities and opens the door to unhealthy emotional connections. It’s better to seek guidance from trusted, same-sex accountability partners.
8. Thou shalt not be in an automobile alone with the opposite sex.
Even the most innocent car ride can lead to gossip or suspicion. If a church member needs a ride, call a rideshare service or find an alternative solution. This isn’t just about avoiding sin—it’s about avoiding the appearance of sin.
9. Thou shalt be careful in answering cards, letters, and electronic communications from the opposite sex.
Transparency is non-negotiable. My wife has access to all my accounts, and my assistant sees every email I send or receive. This ensures there’s no room for hidden or questionable communication, creating a layer of accountability that protects everyone involved.
10. Thou shalt pray for the integrity of other staff members.
Integrity isn’t just an individual pursuit—it’s a shared commitment. We actively pray for one another because we recognize that Satan is always looking for an opportunity to attack. Prayer keeps us grounded and strengthens our team.
Guardrails Save Lives
These commandments aren’t designed to be restrictive—they’re protective. They establish moral margin, creating space to avoid not only sin but situations that could lead to it. Without guardrails, the consequences can devastate families, ministries, and personal testimonies. But with them, we can live above reproach, modeling Christlike character in every aspect of life.
Mistakes happen, but God’s grace is greater. If you’ve stumbled, know there’s a way back through repentance and accountability. At Indian Rocks, we’re committed to living lives of integrity—not just for ourselves, but to honor God and serve our community faithfully.